[discuss-dan] Are You a Problem Thinker?

[Doc Rosen <docrosen@dr.com>]

> > ARE YOU A PROBLEM THINKER?

> >

> > It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now
and

> > then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another,
and

> > soon I was more than just a social thinker.

> >

> > I began to think alone, "to relax," I told myself. But I knew it
wasn't

> > true. Thinking became more and more important to me and finally I
was

> > thinking all the time.

> >

> > I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment
don't

> > mix but I couldn't stop myself.  I began to avoid friends at
lunchtime

so

> I

> > could read Thoreau and Kafka.  I would return to the office
dizzied and

> > confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

> >

> > Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had
turned

> > off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life.  She spent
that

> > night at her mother's. I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker.
One

day

> > the boss called me in. He said, "I like you, and it hurts me to
say this

> but

> > your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop
thinking on

the

> > job, you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think

about.

> >

> > I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I

> confessed,

> > "I've been thinking..."

> >

> > "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

> >

> > "But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

> >

> > "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much
as

> > college professors and college professors don't make any money, so
if

> > you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

> >

> > "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to
cry.

> > I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped
out

> > the door.

> >

> > I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR
on

> > the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big
glass

> > doors...they didn't open.

> >

> > The library was closed.

> >

> > To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me
that

> > night.

> >

> > As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering
for

> > Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking
ruining

> your

> > life?" it asked.

> >

> > You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard
Thinker's

> > Anonymous poster.

> >

> > Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never
miss a

TA

> > meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last
week it

> was

> > "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking
since

> the

> > last meeting.

> >

> > I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life
just

> > seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?


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